Does Action Follow?

Are we really surprised by this R. Kelly documentary, especially black women who live in urban communities where behavior such as Kellys runs rampant. I am disgusted without a doubt but I didn’t need a 3 part docuseries on R. Kelly to feel outrage on behavior that has been occurring for years that has affected myself, girls I know and girls from all around the world. I will say I can appreciate this series if it actually leads to change in our communities and not a temporary buzz of disdain and outrage.

The responses to the documentary have been split between victim blaming, disgust or defending him. While some people are rallying against Kelly we still have some people that defend his actions or ignore them because of his status. For example, I’ve seen so many people post about how this is terrible and everyone involved should be arrested but I have also seen people blame the women involved. The victim blaming was not unexpected though look at the victims of other high status individuals such as Bill Cosby,Harvey Weinstein, Brett Kavaghan and many others whos victims were criticized for waiting so long to come forward or accused of lying to destroy these mens careers. Women have always been blamed for mens actions against them. A pedophile or abuser is the only one to blame not the victim. In a post on instagram someone posted “before you bash R. Kelly lets not forget when grown ass men use to be picking y’all up from school”, like some how they are trying to blame girls for men picking them up from school as if a grown ass man didn’t make the decision to come to a school to pick up an underage girl that he’s messing around with. How disgusting is that? He is literally picking her up from school meaning he knows without a doubt that he should not be with this girl and he still chose to disregard it. If the post suggesting women shouldn’t be upset because they were involved with older men when they were younger not enough to prove that people low key don’t care about Kelly sleeping with underage girls then the increase in Kellys streams after the series should. Are we really upset? People are streaming music were he vividly talks about his affairs with underage girls but I guess music is just music to some people.

What kills me about all this is black people love to say “that’s some white people shit” but this behavior is way beyond a race thing. It has more to do with how men view women as well as how we view each other since men are not the only people who take part in pedophilia but that is a post for another day. This behavior has become so normalized not only in the black community but society. Men literally go crazy for younger girls to the point it is seen as a prize to be with younger women or girls. I have had countless encounters with men who were older than me that would seem to worship me because I was younger especially when I first became sexually active around 18. Even before I was 18 and sexually active men would try to get my attention and ask for my number, when I would tell them I was too young they would act momentarily shocked but would still continue to engage me but with a little more playful tone suggesting they should leave me alone but if I’m down, he‘s down. These type of situations have happened to me and countless other. Not only has it happened but is still occurring all the time to our sisters, to our friends, to the girl down the block.

I’ve actually spoken with men who know men who would pursue and have a relationship with 15, 16 year old girls and they didn’t think it was weird. If the girl wanted to or is already having sex what should it matter if she’s not older than 18. A funny post I had seen on Facebook said “Too many R. Kellys judging R. Kelly” and honestly it’s true. I was thinking about some people I know in my life who have had children by men in their 20s when they were teenagers and was wondering what were these men saying on the matter and if the people around them viewed them in a different light after watching the series. I know that we all know at least one person that messed around with a younger girl. What were your thoughts then when it was occurring and now after the series with R. Kelly?

I hope that the amount of disgust generated towards R. Kelly will continue to generate outrage for more than just a few weeks. I hope that it brings not only attention to what’s taking place but also hold men accountable. Remember that being temporarily upset about something won’t change it from occurring only action makes an impact.