An Onlookers Perspective

Ayesha Curry recently did an interview for Red Table Talk where she mentioned the lack of male attention she receives makes her feel insecure. After the interview, Curry’s name has been circulating through social media with many people shocked and upset that she would say she wants mens attention when she has a loving, caring husband and 3 children plus they felt she had disrespected Steph Curry. While many did not appreciate Curry’s statement it did not bother me as much because as a women I know how easy it is to feel insecure. We live in an age where it is very easy to feel insecure because we have attached value to beauty and with social media there is no escape of beautiful people and images that can occasionally be discouraging to see. Comparatively, in Ayesha’s case she is constantly seeing beautiful women surrounding and throwing themselves at her husband thus it can create doubt such as “am I good enough?”. Furthermore, Ayesha statement did not bother me because I took a second to step into her shoes and try to connect with her beyond passing judgement on a situation I could not fully understand as I and the rest of us are only outsiders to her relationship. We all see a projection of the Curry family as this perfect marriage and family when in reality, we are not certain how the relationship truly is. We do not know how Steph Curry treats Ayesha at home or how he shows her affection and vice versa. We can only see what they show us and thus can’t truly determine whether her statement would affect Steph and how he feels. Moreover, I feel Ayesha misses the days when they weren’t constantly in headlines and their life’s were more personal.

Besides us only being onlookers to her relationship it’s important to remember that she was sharing a very vulnerable side of herself on a huge platform. I highly doubt she ever imagined she would receive backlash for her statement. Not many people can openly express their vulnerabilities and I think that is what struck a chord in some people as well. For her to be so open about a situation she is facing and telling other women that she’s not sure what to do doesn’t sit right with some.

Another reason I feel she received backlash and from what I’ve seen online, women are upset with her because Ayesha is known for painting the picture of a perfect wife and family so it seems hypocritical of her to share her insecurity about the lack of male attention when in the past she has made statements on her cooking show as well as her Twitter on how women can be better wife’s. In addition to making statements on how women can be better wife’s, she has made statements claiming women should cover up. Her advising women on what to do to basically get and keep a husband has made her seem pompous as if she is the embodiment of a perfect, respectable wife so this revealing is funny and surprising to some individuals.

Lastly, I think it’s human nature to want to feel desired. Her wanting male attention has nothing to do with her wanting other men or cheating but to just reassure herself that she’s beautiful. When her husband receives attention from women she gets this constant reminder that her husband is handsome but when she looks around and sees no one interested in her its makes her question her beauty. The question now becomes “I’m beautiful why don’t men want me? Am I beautiful?”. You have women throwing themselves at Steph knowing he has a wife so why isn’t it the same. That’s how I view what Ayesha was saying.

Overall, while I don’t believe Ayesha should have received backlash for sharing her insecurity, I also feel that she shouldn’t have created this picture of being this perfect wife and advising women on how to do the same because none of us are perfect. While I know the media also set her to a high standard she played a generous part as well. Also, it’s important to remember we are only onlookers to others life’s even if you know them personally you still do not know what’s going on in their mind or day to day life in reference to what they are dealing with and their relationships with other people.